i bring this up because i look through my pins sometimes and it feels a little emotional for me. which sounds totally cheesy. but it’s true. it feels like i figured myself out. what makes my brain tick. what i love. what i definitely don’t love. it doesn’t feel so all over the place now, and that’s a nice feeling.
Came across this post on Design Love Fest on understanding your own style and personality, and although it was about taste and fashion and style, it’s also about having a sense of self, which I found intensely interesting. While I’ve written before that I’m not sure if life balances itself out in your 30′s or 40′s… (and I sort of still hope it doesn’t…) I’ve found that this period in my 20′s is all about self-discovery and finding out what doesn’t work. Wasn’t it James Dean that said the prime reason for existence is discovery? I have this concept of where I want to be, or the type of people I’d like to surround myself with, or the type of work I’d like to do… and while I do think I’m inching closer to it, there are some days that I just feel as though I’m swimming against the current. I suppose that’s not a bad thing – better to keep swimming – but I’ve always been afraid that those days and days of battling a current, either within me or outside of me, will eventually catch up. One of my deepest, most panic-inducing fears is that something will change me enough so that I stop swimming, turn around and hang my head and let myself float downstream. I don’t want to wake up one day, years later, and realize all I’ve been doing is floating idly by, you know? I keep worrying if it’s possible to be changed like that – to have the fire in your belly smolder until you can barely feel anything. Do you think it’s possible? Some days I know nothing can change me… and other days I worry because I feel like it already has.
I’m being vague and speaking in metaphors, so it’s probably time to stop writing… but I hope this made sense to you, anyway.
For a great spotlight on a woman who chose to live a creative, entrepreneurial life – click here. “For me, success is freedom.”
Aren’t these cards from Kate & Birdie the cutest?